I have recently completed the book “
Mastery Of Love“. The author is Don Miquel Ruiz, the same author as the book “
The Four Agreements Companion Book : Using the Four Agreements to Master the Dream of Your Life .”
I attempted to read The Four Agreements about a year ago and was seriously triggered almost immediately when reading the first chapter. Previously I had read The Power Of Now and there was a major shift in my perception to spirituality and God. The shift was so incredible for me. Somehow The Four Agreements somehow was confrontational and as such I was forced to now have to re-evaluate everything that I had just learned. After being so shut down for so long, I was unable to deal with this confrontation. Looking back, there was no confrontation, just fear - fear of shutting down and going back to old habits I no longer wanted in my life.
It was at this point I had connected to my spirituality for the very first time in my entire life. There were paragraphs in The Four Agreements that seemed like a ’step back’ to me and I decided not to move forward.
My experience of the Mastery Of Love were also ‘life altering.’
Those of you that are reading this passage surely know how challenging the last few years have been for me - especially the last three months.
I will admit I purchased the book in an effort to once again fall into my usual routine. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and in doing so become worthy of love. Worthy of loving. “Wow, if I can master the art of love, I will never be alone.” I will become an expert at loving, knowing how to love, what to do, how to do it - I will KNOW, unquestionably exactly what to do to make someome love me. I will know just what to do to love someone else ‘the right way.’
My experience of the book however was completely the opposite from what I expected. After reading the book I realized what has been missing for me all along. It’s not that I am not worthy of love, I definitely am - everyone is. I realize that I have personally believed that my own feelings, desires, needs, impressions and assessements of myself (and everyone else around me) have been totally and completely fabricated as the TRUTH. In fact, they are not - they are just another example of a story or a dream that has no basis in fact.
I have realized that love is a beautiful thing. Perhaps the most beautiful in the world. I guess what I never realized was that I should start to love right in my own backyard. The love of self - a new concept for me. Something that appears to have been missing.
This revelation was just what I needed. I am finally able to say that I am clear. I am clear as to why I am now alone after spending 15 years with someone I thought I would be with the rest of my life. I am clear as to why I am so easily in dismay over seemingly insignificant things , I am clear as to exactly what I need to do with my life. I am clear - simply said.
The “Mastery Of Love’ has opened up doors that have been shut (perhaps NEVER opened). I now know that what I need to focus on right now is myself. I need to experience myself as a person that is worthy and capable of love. I now know without question that the person that needs me most right now, the person that has always needed me - is in fact ME.
Thank you Don Miquel Ruiz - we will most likely never meet, and you may never know how your written words have influenced me. I am so grateful to see that I have an alternative. The only alternative I had not thought of and the alternative that I have been searching for - so it seems -my entire life.